friends, family, and social stuffs

i never see myself as a smart man since the times i was in senior high school. i seemed to lose something important that i used to have back in the junior high. man, i'm still looking for that something. but what i lack in junior high just gotten worse in senior high. friendship that is. till the first grade of junior high, my relationship went well and everybody in class even school was my friend. well, at least i never thought of them as my enemy or anything. but things changed in the second year. making friends never looked so hard as it was back then. some barrier were holding me back to create full connection to my friends. i'm beginning to see my self. hey, i'm not the person i see in other person when i talked to them. i'm me when i look into the mirror. i guessed that i must be imagining things that i was someone else before then. maybe i'm too occupied by the movies and cartoons or animes. but that was it, i'm beginning to limit myself in making relationship with others. i'm beginning to have this feeling that i'm not a part of this group or i don't belong with him/her. this kind of feeling kind of holding me back to make friends with others. this thing, i still have in my mind today. -to be continued-